


The Art of Pretending- Him

by ibasedrandomness



Series: Heartbreakers [6]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Feels, M/M, Pining, Single POV, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 14:51:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12986400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibasedrandomness/pseuds/ibasedrandomness
Summary: In love, Victor pretends.





	The Art of Pretending- Him

**Author's Note:**

> My first NSFW- hope I did well!

Maybe this was all Victor’s ever needed: to be loved like this, to be fucked like this. He rakes his nails down his lovers back, arching into their touch as they drive in further, harder. He gasps at the sensation building deep in his gut, at the drag of the man’s cock inside of him. “ _Fuck— fuck don’t stop.”_

Maybe he can just imagine, just pretend. He’s good at pretending, it’s almost second nature by now. He tells himself that it’s soft, jet black hair that he’s running his fingers through instead of sandy blonde curls, that the lips he’s kissing belong to a soft-spoken man with chestnut eyes; plain to others but striking and beautiful to him and he _pretends_.

He pretends this man loves him, cherishes him. That he’s taking care of him and will continue to do so after they’re sticky with each other’s release on their skin. He pretends that’s he doesn’t taste the tang of alcohol on his lover's tongue, that he doesn’t smell cigarette smoke in his hair—sea salt and cherry blossoms, instead.

His lover breathes heavy against his neck, driving his cock into his heat like he belongs there and Victor pretends that he does. _It’s Him it’s Him it’s Yu-_

“Oh, fuck— ngh!” The man says into his ear, breathless as he chases his orgasm inside Victor and Victor gasps as his lover misses his prostate just barely, lifting a leg to wrap around their waist.

“ _Oh—!”_ he mewls, clutching onto the shoulders of the man he pretends he loves and he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, breath hitching as the man picks up the pace. Victor wraps a free hand around himself _tightly_. He wants to make this last, he wants to keep pretending, he wants—

“You’re so tight for me— oh fuck —I’m clo- I’m close!”

_No no, make this last—_

His lover grabs his ass and _squeezes_ , eyes screwed shut as he lifts himself to change the angle and Victor sees stars as he finally hits his prostate, a shout on the tip of his tongue.

_He’s making me feel this good it’s Him it’s Him_

Releasing his hold on his dick he brings his lovers lips to his, longing for something sensual, something sweet, something loving; he pretends he finds it as their tongues meet and he moans against him, his mind filled with images of _Him._

The thrusts begin to slow, his lover’s hips begin to jerk and he’s gasping against Victor's lips, their breath mingling together between them.

“Keep going, keep going—!” Victor begs because he needs this, he needs him to keep going. He needs— _oh fuck._

_Brown eyes Black hair it’s Him!_

_BrownBrownBrown_

His lover's cock is pulsating inside of him and it’s not long before he’s filling the condom with his seed, slowing to a stop as he trembles above him. He collapses on top of Victor, his neglected dick settled between them and Victor whimpers at the sensation, suddenly close to tears.

_It’s over It’s not Him It’s not Him—_

“Fuck,” the man curses against him, nose pressed into the crook of Victor's shoulder as he catches his breath and Victor whimpers, not because his dick is still achingly hard and the friction between them is killing him but because it’s not Him. He’s not here.

_It was never Him._

“Get off.” He says, voice cracking as a lump forms in his throat. He bites his lip, regrets already flowing through his veins, clouding his mind.

Blonde curls invade his vision as the man lifts himself up onto his elbows, his crooked smile falls once the grey of his eyes meets the blue of Victors and he furrows his brows, confused.

“Why are you cr—”

“Get off.”

“Was I not good—?”

“Pull out and _get off!”_ Victor whines, pushing against the man on top of him as tears begin to break free and slide down his cheeks. “You’re not Him—get off!”

_You’re not Him You’re not Him Get off!_

“Okay—okay I’m going, just calm down.” He pulls out quickly, stifling a groan with his lip pulled between his teeth and Victor threads his fingers in his sex ruined hair, pulling on the strands to distract himself from reality. His breath is caught in his throat, his eyes stinging from tears as he lies there in his bed and the man—Zach, Victor realizes—disposes of the condom, not daring to look Victor in the eye as he gets dressed.

“I— it was a great party Vict—“

“Oh my god, get out!”

Zachary exits the room in a rush, leaving Victor naked and alone in his bed. He doesn’t realize how hard he’s crying until he can no longer breathe properly, his chest heaving, shoulders shaking and he pulls on his hair again, the pain at his roots not nearly as bad as the pain he feels in his heart.

_He’s not here He didn’t come_

_It wasn’t Him_

Its hours before Victor stops staring at the ceiling long enough to get up and clean himself off, standing under the steaming spray of water in the shower as his party goes on without him. There’s a lump lodged in his throat as he gets himself off, finally relieving himself and he discards his bedding when he’s finished, yanking the sheets off and throwing them in the corner with a scowl on his face. He lies awake, refusing to let himself think about _anything,_ unbothered as tears leak from the corners of his eyes and he sits. He sits until it’s already too late to go to sleep for the night, until everyone has already left the party and returned to their dorms to prepare for morning lectures and it’s only when his alarm goes off, loud in his ears that he gets up to get dressed.

There are dark circles under his eyes when he looks at himself in the mirror but he doesn’t care. He brushes his teeth and leaves his apartment, stepping over beer bottles and a sea of red solo cups littering the ground until he reaches his car and slams the key in the ignition.

Victor ignores the dull ache at the base of his spine as he walks to class and sits in his reserved seat, resting his head on his hands, eyes closed with a pout while other students file into their seats as well. He’s tired and he wants to forget. Forget last night. Forget Zach. _Forget Him._

“Missed you at the party last night Yuuri!” someone yells lightheartedly and Victor stifles a gasp, resisting the urge to open his eyes despite the fact that he wants to see. He wants to make sure.

“Ah, yeah I stayed in to study,” says a soft voice in response beside him and Victor’s heart clenches in his chest and he balls his fits on his desk, holding his eyes shut even tighter. _He’s here He’s here He’s here. I want to see him._

Victor opens his eyes slowly and chances a glance to his right, swallowing hard when his eyes meet soft black hair and blue-rimmed glasses. He’s in his seat beside Victor, head tucked down as he ruffles through his backpack, pink lips pressed into a firm line and Victor can’t help it, but his eyes widen. His breath catches in his throat as he stares.

“Hey, do you mind if I borrow a pen? I was in a rush and I left it…” He says and then suddenly he’s looking at Victor with his beautiful brown eyes, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Of course,” _Anything for you._ He reaches into his pocket and brings out a black pen, handing it to Him, all the while forcing his hands to stop trembling. He receives a thank you and a small yet beautiful smile before He furrows his brows, looking at Victor with worry in his eyes.

“Victor, are you okay?”

_No. No, I’m not okay, I’m in love with you—_

Victor puts on his best smile— _he pretends_. “Yes, Yuuri.”

“I’m fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> When the man you're in love with is too focused on school to realize your feelings for him. Damn son, smh.
> 
> Song Inspo: [Candles [ cover ]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_fKEMx1JWk) & [Photosynthesis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYZdgJtRFdg)
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ibasedrandomnes)  
> [tumblr](ibasedrandomness.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitterpated- My Fluff Series!!](https://archiveofourown.org/series/837930)


End file.
